I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
