i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
