I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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