this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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