That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
