So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
