Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
