My hand turned me down
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize