dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
