well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
