I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
