Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
