used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
