Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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