she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize