that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
