I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
