You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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