There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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