It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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