idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
