Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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