covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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