If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
