screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
