he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
