Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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