awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
