I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
