Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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