I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There's always time for handjobs
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
