why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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