Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
