He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
