We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
