You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
