I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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