I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
love makes seman taste better
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
