Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You're like the curious george of whores
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
