i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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