Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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