those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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