Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
