You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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