The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
