Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
