People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
