There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
wow bdsm is so cute
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