is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
