I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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