It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
