Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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