dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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