Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
