After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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