Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
