You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
