Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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