just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
