I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
