Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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