i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
