I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Randomize
