Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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