What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
