Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
